Who knew…
That the ending of a cartoon series and listening to a couple songs would help bring me to a calmer state of mind.
I know its only a couple weeks into summer for me and I should not even be worried about the things that I am worried about, but I’m just the kind of person where I can’t ignore what is clearly in front of me and also on my mind 24/7.
I meet a girl weeks before I move out for my freshmen year of college. Little do I know this girl becomes a HUGE part of my life. Not because she became my girlfriend shortly there after, but because she is an amazing woman and despite everything we have gone through since we broke up…despite everything I stupidly did to her…everything, that to an extent I regret…but after everything she is still my BEST friend and it makes me so happy to know that. I wouldn’t trade her friendship for anything in the world.
Now do I still want to be more with her…of course. She is just so amazing…treats me like a human being…cares so much about me. Everything I could of asked for in a woman. She’s smart, like holy fuck she’s smart, she makes me smile, shes funny, silly, adorably cute, and absolutely breathtakingly beautiful. I know sometimes things aren’t the best and I may get on her nerves as she may get on mine, but no one is perfect nor is there a perfect couple, but for this girl I would give it all and that is my realization that has brought me to a calmer state of mind. The realization that I will give my everything for her…yes I’m young and this is a huge risk if it doesn’t go the way I want, but she is worth it…if I fall I will stand back up, dust myself off and move forward, but I’m not looking at that. I will look at the now and right now this girl is the one I want to give my everything for because she may not realize it but she is amazing and different from any other girl and in a good way. She is for me…no one to me is better than her. I won’t give up…my mind is made up…She is the girl for me and I will give her everything I have and treat her how she deserves to be treated. I love her…
